Difference between revisions of "Transcript:The Tip of the Zoidberg"
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{{working|Sanfazer}} | {{working|Sanfazer}} | ||
{{transcript infobox | |||
|for=The Tip of the Zoidberg | |||
|written by=[[Ken Keeler]] | |||
|thanks to=[[User:Sanfazer|Sanfazer]] | |||
|prev ep=Benderama | |||
|next ep=Ghost in the Machines | |||
}} | |||
:''['''Note''': This transcript is based on the Comedy Central video ''[http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=394569&title=dr--john-zoidberg---m-d Dr. John Zoidberg, "M"D]'' of 12 August, 2011.]'' | |||
:''['''Scene''': The Planet Express hangar. Zoidberg and Professor Farnsworth are sitting on a bench. Zoidberg is holding a lunch bag with his left hand. Professor Farnsworth is holding a lunch bag with his right hand. Zoidberg is looking at his lunch bag. Professor Farnsworth is looking at Zoidberg. Seen on the floor are five owls and two mice.]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]]''': Ah, Zoidberg. ''[Professor Farnsworth pulls a mouse out of his bag and throws it on the floor.]'' We've known each other so long that... Sometimes, I don't think we even need words to understand each other.</poem> | |||
:''[An owl eats the mouse. Zoidberg pulls another mouse out of his bag and throws it on the floor. Professor Farnsworth does the same. Zoidberg turns to Professor Farnsworth.]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Zoidberg]]''': What?</poem> | |||
:''[The Planet Express ship lands, scaring away six owls. Bender and Leela come out. Bender, who is holding a cigar with his left hand and an open lighter with his right hand, puts the cigar in his mouth, lights it up, closes the lighter, and begins smoking the cigar.]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Once and for all, Fry, even though it's the future, most objects are still just objects. Not Aliens who look like objects.</poem> | |||
:''[Fry comes out as well.]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': So my efforts to establish diplomatic relations with the cactus people were doomed from the start.</poem> | |||
:''[Fry lifts up his right hand, revealing it to have been pierced with fourteen pikes, and looks at it.]'' | |||
:''['''Cut to''': Outside a room. The glass on the door reads ''Dr. John Zoidberg - "M"D''. The camera zooms in on the glass.]'' | |||
:''['''Cut to''': Inside the room. Fry is sitting on a bed. Zoidberg is standing in front of a shelf with ten books on it.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': So you're in pain and 'ave a bunch o' needles. I prescribe acupuncture. ''[Zoidberg lifts up a book labelled ''<small>PRINCIPLES OF</small> ACUPUNCTURE'' with his right claw.]'' Let's begin. ''[Zoidberg hits Fry's right hand with the book. Fry screams.]'' [scared] Blood?! [casual] I mean, "Blood."</poem> | |||
:''[Zoidberg puts his right claw behind his back.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': Put it back in me!</poem> | |||
:''['''Cut to''': Outside the room. The camera zooms in on the glass.]'' | |||
:''['''Cut to''': Inside the room. Leela is sitting on the bed. Zoidberg is standing next to it and looking at a pad, which he is holding with both his claws.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': I'm afraid Fry lost a lotta juice. ''[Zoidberg points forward with his right claw. Leela turns to that direction.]'' He's developed ''Simpsons'' jaundice.</poem> | |||
:''[The camera pans over to Fry. Fry, whose skin has turned yellow, is sitting on the bed.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': ¡Ay, caramba!</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': His only hope is some replacement liver. Yours looks like a good match.</poem> | |||
:''[Leela turns to Zoidberg. Zoidberg points at Leela with his left claw.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Leela''': Well, if it'll help Fry—</poem> | |||
:''[The camera pans over to Fry.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': Careful, Leela! ''[Leela turns to Fry.]'' He knows less about Human anatomy than I do. And I can't even find my own uterus!</poem> | |||
:''[Leela turns to Zoidberg. Zoidberg is operating a chainsaw.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': [over the noise, screaming] You may feel a slight sawing!</poem> | |||
:''['''Cut to''': Outside the room. The camera zooms in on the glass.]'' | |||
:''['''Cut to''': Inside the room. Hermes is sitting on the bed. Zoidberg is standing next to it and looking at the pad, which he is holding with both his claws.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': And all we need is a little spine supplement to replace what Leela lost in that unavoidable saw mix-up.</poem> | |||
:''[Zoidberg puts down the pad. The camera pans over to Leela. Leela, whose upper body and lower body have been separated, is sitting on the bed with crossed arms.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Leela''': It wasn't unavoidable! ''[Leela jumps forward.]'' You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled, "Stop! You're cutting my spine!"</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': [off camera] Quit complaining! ''[The camera pans over to Fry. Fry, whose skin resembles that of Garfield, is sitting on the bed.]'' My body rejected your liver and now I've got ''Garfield'' syndrome. ''[Fry sighs.]'' I hate Mondays.</poem> | |||
:''[Fry crosses his arms.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Anyhow, Hermes, all Leela needs is one of your vertebrae.</poem> | |||
<poem>'''[[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': But, Doctor, will I be able to limbo afterwards?</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Could you limbo before? ''[Zoidberg laughs.]'' Wait. I say, "Yes." And you say, "I ''couldn't'' limbo before." You ruined the joke, Hermes!</poem> | |||
:''[Zoidberg points at Hermes with his left claw.]'' | |||
:''['''Cut to''': Outside the room. The camera zooms in on the glass.]'' | |||
:''['''Cut to''': Inside the room. Zoidberg helps Leela, whose upper body and lower body have been reconnected, get up.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': There you go, Leela. Good as new!</poem> | |||
:''[Fry, whose skin resembles that of Kermit the Frog, is standing behind a desk. Leela, whose spine clicks as it whirls around, walks towards the desk.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Leela''': Whoa! Whoa!</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': Oh, sure.</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Leela''': [continued] Whoa!</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': [continued] Leela's fine. ''[Fry points at Leela with his left hand and at himself with both his hands.]'' But my jaundice has progressed a ''Muppet'' gangrene. It's not easy being gangrenous.</poem> | |||
:''[Fry crosses his arms. Hermes, who has gotten shorter, enters.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Hermes''': I thought you were only gonna take out one vertebra!</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Yeah, but did you ever play Jenga? Sometimes, you pull one and—</poem> | |||
:''[Zoidberg makes a strange sound. Hermes, Fry, and Leela complain.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': [over the noise] Oh, yeah? Well, I've got news for ya. I'm not stayin' like this. You're the Doctor!</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Hmmm. What started out as a pleasant afternoon of drugs and surgery has not gone as planned. But don't worry. We still 'ave three or four coworkers with plenty of spare parts.</poem> | |||
:''[Zoidberg claws with both his claws.]'' | |||
{{navigation bottom/transcript | |||
|prev ep=Benderama | |||
|next ep=Ghost in the Machines | |||
}} |
Revision as of 22:16, 18 August 2011
← Previous | Navigation in production order | Next → |
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Transcript for | |
The Tip of the Zoidberg | |
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Written by | Ken Keeler |
Transcribed by | Sanfazer |
- [Note: This transcript is based on the Comedy Central video Dr. John Zoidberg, "M"D of 12 August, 2011.]
- [Scene: The Planet Express hangar. Zoidberg and Professor Farnsworth are sitting on a bench. Zoidberg is holding a lunch bag with his left hand. Professor Farnsworth is holding a lunch bag with his right hand. Zoidberg is looking at his lunch bag. Professor Farnsworth is looking at Zoidberg. Seen on the floor are five owls and two mice.]
Professor Farnsworth: Ah, Zoidberg. [Professor Farnsworth pulls a mouse out of his bag and throws it on the floor.] We've known each other so long that... Sometimes, I don't think we even need words to understand each other.
- [An owl eats the mouse. Zoidberg pulls another mouse out of his bag and throws it on the floor. Professor Farnsworth does the same. Zoidberg turns to Professor Farnsworth.]
Zoidberg: What?
- [The Planet Express ship lands, scaring away six owls. Bender and Leela come out. Bender, who is holding a cigar with his left hand and an open lighter with his right hand, puts the cigar in his mouth, lights it up, closes the lighter, and begins smoking the cigar.]
Leela: Once and for all, Fry, even though it's the future, most objects are still just objects. Not Aliens who look like objects.
- [Fry comes out as well.]
Fry: So my efforts to establish diplomatic relations with the cactus people were doomed from the start.
- [Fry lifts up his right hand, revealing it to have been pierced with fourteen pikes, and looks at it.]
- [Cut to: Outside a room. The glass on the door reads Dr. John Zoidberg - "M"D. The camera zooms in on the glass.]
- [Cut to: Inside the room. Fry is sitting on a bed. Zoidberg is standing in front of a shelf with ten books on it.]
Zoidberg: So you're in pain and 'ave a bunch o' needles. I prescribe acupuncture. [Zoidberg lifts up a book labelled PRINCIPLES OF ACUPUNCTURE with his right claw.] Let's begin. [Zoidberg hits Fry's right hand with the book. Fry screams.] [scared] Blood?! [casual] I mean, "Blood."
- [Zoidberg puts his right claw behind his back.]
Fry: Put it back in me!
- [Cut to: Outside the room. The camera zooms in on the glass.]
- [Cut to: Inside the room. Leela is sitting on the bed. Zoidberg is standing next to it and looking at a pad, which he is holding with both his claws.]
Zoidberg: I'm afraid Fry lost a lotta juice. [Zoidberg points forward with his right claw. Leela turns to that direction.] He's developed Simpsons jaundice.
- [The camera pans over to Fry. Fry, whose skin has turned yellow, is sitting on the bed.]
Fry: ¡Ay, caramba!
Zoidberg: His only hope is some replacement liver. Yours looks like a good match.
- [Leela turns to Zoidberg. Zoidberg points at Leela with his left claw.]
Leela: Well, if it'll help Fry—
- [The camera pans over to Fry.]
Fry: Careful, Leela! [Leela turns to Fry.] He knows less about Human anatomy than I do. And I can't even find my own uterus!
- [Leela turns to Zoidberg. Zoidberg is operating a chainsaw.]
Zoidberg: [over the noise, screaming] You may feel a slight sawing!
- [Cut to: Outside the room. The camera zooms in on the glass.]
- [Cut to: Inside the room. Hermes is sitting on the bed. Zoidberg is standing next to it and looking at the pad, which he is holding with both his claws.]
Zoidberg: And all we need is a little spine supplement to replace what Leela lost in that unavoidable saw mix-up.
- [Zoidberg puts down the pad. The camera pans over to Leela. Leela, whose upper body and lower body have been separated, is sitting on the bed with crossed arms.]
Leela: It wasn't unavoidable! [Leela jumps forward.] You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled, "Stop! You're cutting my spine!"
Fry: [off camera] Quit complaining! [The camera pans over to Fry. Fry, whose skin resembles that of Garfield, is sitting on the bed.] My body rejected your liver and now I've got Garfield syndrome. [Fry sighs.] I hate Mondays.
- [Fry crosses his arms.]
Zoidberg: Anyhow, Hermes, all Leela needs is one of your vertebrae.
Hermes: But, Doctor, will I be able to limbo afterwards?
Zoidberg: Could you limbo before? [Zoidberg laughs.] Wait. I say, "Yes." And you say, "I couldn't limbo before." You ruined the joke, Hermes!
- [Zoidberg points at Hermes with his left claw.]
- [Cut to: Outside the room. The camera zooms in on the glass.]
- [Cut to: Inside the room. Zoidberg helps Leela, whose upper body and lower body have been reconnected, get up.]
Zoidberg: There you go, Leela. Good as new!
- [Fry, whose skin resembles that of Kermit the Frog, is standing behind a desk. Leela, whose spine clicks as it whirls around, walks towards the desk.]
Leela: Whoa! Whoa!
Fry: Oh, sure.
Leela: [continued] Whoa!
Fry: [continued] Leela's fine. [Fry points at Leela with his left hand and at himself with both his hands.] But my jaundice has progressed a Muppet gangrene. It's not easy being gangrenous.
- [Fry crosses his arms. Hermes, who has gotten shorter, enters.]
Hermes: I thought you were only gonna take out one vertebra!
Zoidberg: Yeah, but did you ever play Jenga? Sometimes, you pull one and—
- [Zoidberg makes a strange sound. Hermes, Fry, and Leela complain.]
Fry: [over the noise] Oh, yeah? Well, I've got news for ya. I'm not stayin' like this. You're the Doctor!
Zoidberg: Hmmm. What started out as a pleasant afternoon of drugs and surgery has not gone as planned. But don't worry. We still 'ave three or four coworkers with plenty of spare parts.
- [Zoidberg claws with both his claws.]
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